So I’ve talked to TinyFists and Gunnie about the situation and the overwhelming feeling is that I’m not the one who is the unsure element and that it’s not me that needs to change. While they have been saying things to me and getting on me for going into this relationship, they know I’m not being stupid about it. They just care about me and don’t want me getting hurt, which is nice of them. They’ve basically said that the one who needs to figure things out, is him. He needs to decide what he wants out of this. He needs to decide how he feels about me. Because whether he admits it or not, this is a relationship. It’s not a serious one, granted, but it is one.

Even though I told myself that I wasn’t going to get involved in another relationship too fast, that’s exactly what I’ve done. Not really complaining however, since my time with Irish tends to have very healing effects. Also, the word ‘love’ is not in my vocabulary right now. The concept is there, but I know that it’s something that I shouldn’t be thinking about. I’ve got my whole life to find love, but right now I can enjoy whatever is the closest I can get to it. I also know that while he may or may not be Mr. Right, I know that he is Mr. Right Now, and that’s good enough for me. It’s a good start, anyway. Will he ever feel the same way that I do? Who knows? But what I know is that I just wish he’d tell me where his head’s at and what he’s feeling. The thing that is the worst is the waiting and not knowing. But maybe I really don’t wanna know… sigh…

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