Grapple took me to Mongolian Grill today for lunch. Well, a late lunch. 2 o’clock really. But that was my bad, not his. He said he’d come pick me up at 2, but then showed up at 1:20 when I hadn’t gotten showered and ready yet. He called me lazy, but I had been doing chores and such all morning and was just about to jump in the shower when he showed up. Anyway, so we get there and realize their lunch stops at 230. We ended up not leaving til about 330 and they didn’t care. So I think I just found my new favorite place. And it’s only $10 for all you can eat lunch.

I had a really great time and it was great to catch up with Grapple after so long. Sure, we went to Rennfest together and hung out all day then, but we couldn’t talk freely about things. It’s always nice to talk to him because he listens to what I have to say and actually cares about me, which is more than I can say for some people I try to talk to. Sigh.

We hung out a bit longer and talked some more. But it was kinda sad how good it felt when he randomly reached over and hugged me at a red light. It just felt so warm and so much stress just started melting away from me, softening my shoulders and my heart. It was almost overwhelming. It made me realize how much I’ve been missing in my daily life. While Irish is getting better with the showing of affection, it’s not yet nearly enough to meet my needs. I keep forgetting that.

After he brought me home, we talked for awhile and I made him listen to Voltaire, since he had never heard it before. It was really great to just chill on the couch comfortably with someone who genuinely wanted to hear what I had to say. And who isn’t afraid to hug on me and stuff, knowing that it’s totally cool by me for him to do that. I’m a very friendly person and also a very physical person. I get the most satisfaction, emotion, and intimacy from physical closeness. Even with people that are just friends. I’m not afraid to admit that I love to cuddle. I love hugs and snuggles and being intertwined and just hanging all over each other for the hell of it. It’s because of this concept that Grapple and I have discussed how he is a better boyfriend, without being a boyfriend. He’s just that awesome of a friend. He and I operate under the same principle: give all you can. And that stays true no matter if the other is giving back an equal amount or zero. We both keep ending up with situations where we’re not receiving nearly enough in return to satisfy our wants and needs. Fittingly, we seem to have gravitated to each other to fulfill at least the hugging quotient that we both have.

Small amount of irony, when Irish got home I was doing dishes and when I finished up he walked by me and stopped, his face really close to mine, then leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose. It was adorable and great. Don’t get me wrong, the huggings with Grapple were awesome and very much needed, but there was something missing that I couldn’t put my finger on. Apparently that was the intimacy bit I needed. Whether that’s because it was a kiss, or it was cute, or because it came from the boyfriend, I’m not sure. Regardless, it was nice.

10:30pm
So the reason I actually got to write a nice long post this time is because I’m actually using my laptop. It still sucks and I have the power cord taped to it just so it won’t come unplugged and die, but it’s still a full keyboard and not my iphone. Also, the boys played poker tonight and are finishing up now. Gunnie, Curly, Musicman, and AngryGinger came this time. It’s now down to Irish and AngryGinger. There’s talk of doing some Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock after this which I have mixed feelings about now. It’s getting kinda late and I’m tired. Wow, I feel old. Maybe I will play some GH then, just to spite myself. Heh. And now I’m having a conversation with myself, about myself, and about what I’m going to do in like 10 minutes, merely because I don’t want to do it. Ugh, that was a really confusing sentence to type. I don’t know if you, the Reader, caught any of that, but if you did, kudos to you and welcome to madness. Ahahahahahaaa! *maniacal hand gestures*. Um…ahem. Anyway…. I’m just waiting for the poker game to end.

Also, I know that Grapple reads this blog but I don’t know if he’s the only one so far. I had 8 page views yesterday and no comments were left so I have no idea. So basically, feel free to leave comments, I’d love to hear what you think. Though this is my ranting outlet, so I know most of the posting is negative in connotation, I hope to eventually be posting happier things.

“Yay we’re finally done, thank Christ!” – AngryGinger just now

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