I’ve recently been assured that some men think it’s annoying when women talk about themselves. Well, duh. That makes sense. Most people can’t tolerate listening about someone talk about themselves constantly. But hearing about ourselves is just weird sometimes. Which brings me to the next Pro Tip:

We all want to be complimented, but hearing compliments too much can be annoying, unnerving, and can even feel faked or forced. I like being told nice things, as it feels reassuring and makes me feel better about myself. But when someone constantly calls me pretty, or hot, or gorgeous, it loses its value and I feel like they’re just saying it because they feel like they should, not because they mean it. It can get to the point that I feel the opposite is true, and they’re trying to appease me by saying these things, but in fact making things worse.

That being said, this applies more to suitors and guy friends than it does to a current partner. For instance, hearing a compliment from Irish is almost always met with joy and sometimes surprise. Granted, he doesn’t overdo it. In fact, I’d love for him to compliment me more often, but I think his opinion is that it’d get old and tired quickly. Not sure if I agree there.

But anyway, my point was that when my guys compliment me too much, it becomes counterproductive and actually makes me shrink away from them a bit, cuz they seem too eager to please and like they’re trying too hard to make me feel good around them. Here’s a hint: if I feel good around you, it’s because of the way you treat me and act around me, not necessarily the things you say. In this case, actions indeed speak louder than words.

While I appreciate compliments as much as the next girl, don’t overdo it. You’re hurting yourself and making me feel like I am, in actuality, not hot or cute or whatever. If I stop smiling and/or giggling when you do it, that’s because it’s no longer working, so lay off it for awhile. Just saying. Err… just writing.

Sometimes a hug or a random cuddle means more to me and does more for my ego and self-esteem than a compliment, whether it’s warranted or not. I’m not sure if this applies to just me or to the bulk of females, but hopefully it lands somewhere in between and someone finds it helpful.

Advertisements